Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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