Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We left an ass print on the piano.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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