At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
