OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
