so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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