Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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