and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
