"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize