he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
