She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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