He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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