I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
