Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
