I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
