Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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