I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
