im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
