If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
