xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
