He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
