How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
