real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
