Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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