chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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