Cold hands, warm shart.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Do vagina's smell?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
