If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
