my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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