You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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