scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
