...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
