Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
