no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
