We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize