no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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