my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
