I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
