they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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