Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
