STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize