I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
