yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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