I skipped work to stalk him.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
