fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
