I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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