i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
