I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
