She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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