I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize