instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
