Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
