I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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