I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
