The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
