I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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