White coat. Heels.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She bit a glass in half.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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