I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
