Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Houston, we have a squirter
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize