i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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