I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize